Today I reached my limit of staying silent on this. Enough already!
QUIT COMPARING YOUR BODY TO OTHER WOMEN!
Why?! Because it does nothing but cause pain and it has zero relevancy to your health. But also because I’m personally I’m sick of feeling like I should apologise and have a negative view of my body just because I happen to be a certain build. It’s bullshit and no one should make someone else feel that way!
It’s happened most of my life, I’ve always been tall and slim with a super fast metabolism that meant that it was difficult to put on weight. And whilst I figured out the putting on weight issue (go overseas!), its taken me years to be comfortable and love my body (something I am passionate about for everyone to be able to do, especially women!).
The skinny shaming happened throughout primary, high school and my adult life. Others comparing their bodies to mine and then pointing out how bad they feel, sometimes as blatantly as that, sometimes subtly. How did that make me feel? Damn guilty all the bloody time for just living in the body I was born in. Especially anytime anyone brought up talking about their insecurities about their weight etc, if I even tried to pitch in, I was shut down. What would I know? No I should sit there and feel guilty for not having that issue. In high school I actually ate junk for nearly a year and heaps of it, just to put on weight and make the comments about my weight stop. (some of you are rolling eyes and saying if only that was a problem – well it is for a lot of people so stop dismissing it as something that isn’t worrysome!) I was made to question whether I had anorexia by randoms, doctors, friends – I ate so much, I didn’t hate my body in that way nor wanted to be skinny, and yet I was told it so often I questioned myself at times, maybe I was, maybe I did have a body image issue and was secretly (to even my knowldge, subconsciously) punishing myself or caring so greatly about being good looking that I was not eating (all with a moments thought clearly untrue to anyone who saw my daily rhythm).
And yet comfortability in my body came really when I wasn’t that skinny having issues putting on weight girl anymore, it was when I was carrying more weight than my healthy body adult body needed to. Why then, because I was hating my body, hating my eating, hating my lack of ability to diet & so to console my hatred I dieted and then would binge. Super unhealthy, unhealthy food going in, unhealthy amounts, unhealthy mental health and unhealthy body image. I realised in order to actually make the change, I needed to stop focusing on the fat, the weight, the scales, and learn to be ok with my body, bits I hated and all. And slowly I did, I decided it was ok I was not eating as well, because I got in touch with the reason (anxiety around traveling and not having a place of rest), that I was ok with the pudgy stomach, that I was ok with the no boobs, the long legs that can’t find jeans long enough (such as the ones I’m wearing now that are 2 inches too short), the ugly toes, the pimply skin, the moles, the stretch marks and cellulite, the ugly belly button. I realised it wasn’t ugly or something I should be ashamed about, it was just me and I like me & I won’t ever look perfect and no one does. All we can do is be the healthiest person we can in our body to live the fullest life.
And you know what, my body is slight, I’m tall, I have a small rib cage, small bones, straight figure and I love my body. Not all the time, but I try to love it all the time, because it is what I have. And I am trying to be the healthiest version of me with the time I have amongst my thousand of other passions and time consuming things that are in my life.
Why the beginning rant? Because today, I had a 15 year old girl feeling uncomfortable about herself, her weight, her skin because she is comparing herself to me. And it isn’t fair on her and it isn’t fair on me & most of all, it isn’t going to help her at all have a healthy body image of herself, which is something I want so so much to see!
She is never going to be a size 10 like me, because her body is so so different from mine. She’s curvier, bigger bones, bigger frame, different shape, different muscles. Her healthy body is like a 14 or something and a totally different shape and weight to my my healthy me. And I want to be able to support her and encourage her to love her body, look after it, both mentally, physically and emotionally. But if she keeps comparing herself in size, weight (which is the most stupid thing to compare!, two people the same size can be vastly different weights – and again body types – vast vast differences!), physical attributes with the ideal of the ‘beautiful’ skinny fake photoshopped woman on the front of the mags and plastered on the tele, she isn’t ever going to love her body.
So women, please please please! Stop comparing! To your friends, to the mags to our culture! Try and come to the point where you accept your body type and start thinking what is healthy for me and work on your journey towards it. And give yourself a thousand breaks for not getting there because you are ok in your own skin as it is. From my experience, having this attitude will actually make you far more motivated and likely to achieving those goals than being hard and fast about them! (that said, realistic goals can be good to push yourself!).
So I’m not going to say I’m thankful for my body type or my fast metabolism, because that’s buying into the skinny is best sterotype I don’t believe. I am instead going to say, I’m thankful for my body, all of it, and I’m going to try and be the healthiest me (health being mental, physical, emotional, medical, with my spare time and energy living holistically) & I hope you can be thankful for your body and try and be the healthiest you too!